Friday Night D&D

Session 5

Cave continued. Aka dickbeer.

The adventurers continue their exploration of the caves. As they made their way deeper into the tunnels they entered an errie room where echoes seemed to happen before they made the noise.

They them came to a junction of three tunnels, and faced a choice. To the right was a narrow set of rough steps leading down – a slight feeling of cold emanated from the stairwell. Ahead the ground dropped away several times into darkness. Sounds of animalistic grunting (ritual? torture? sex?) was heard from that direction. The last passage, ten foot wide to the left, contained darkness. After much discussion the group elected to play it safe, which in their minds meant following the darker tunnel.

In this third tunnel, the adventures encountered more draconic creatures (kobolds). They noticed the half-formed creatures from the chest cavity of the screaming man looked somewhat like a kobold… Hovering at the back of the kobolds was two more. Slightly stronger and with wings! They each held a large stone.

Flitch and Grim noticed a kobold moving towards a key that was hung on the wall beside another tunnel that appears to head down. At the same time the rest of the kobolds swarmed forward. Grim, being the only member of the group to understand draconic, relayed to his companions that the kobolds were intending to let something out.

Ruk took the brunt of the initial attack and in turn, transformed one of the advancing kobolds into a stain on the cave wall. Felkin and Sandry made short work of two more kobolds while Xan advanced to the stairs in an attempt to prevent the kobolds releasing whatever they intended to release. True to form, the cleric summoned forth the power of Waukeen with a most vehement verbal tirade. Unfortunately the responding divine wrath was minimal. What was strange and extremely unsettling was that instead of his voice coming from his mouth, it Only emanated from down the stairs and behind the locked cage door at the bottom of the stairs… Even more unsettling for Xan, was the wafting smell of ozone, which seemed to originate from the same direction as his voice. Meanwhile, the rest of the group was surprised that Grimm actually managed to hit an advancing kobold, but are also stunned by the devastating violence of his attack. All that remained of the kobold after Grimm had finished with it was a pile of what is best described as “fleshy curly fries”. Upon seeing four of their comrades so easily dispatched, the bat-like kobolds advanced on the group, flying 10 feet up. At the same time the kobold making its way toward the gate managed to unlock the gate, having survived Xan’s call for Waukeen’s wrath.

Unfortunately for the kobold, while celebrating his unlock achievement, Ruk used him as a source of colour to redecorate the cave walls.

However, it was too late, as four blue draconic creatures approached snarling and on all fours. Everytime one of the heroes spoke, their voice instead came from the mouth of on of these creatures, accompanied by a strong smell of ozone! The heroes were suitable freaked out!

In a devastating first foray they knocked the heavily wounded, but raging, Ruk unconscious!! Stunned at the ferocity of the attack, Felkin unsuccessfully attempted to push all the beasts back into the dungeon from which they had emerged but his 2nd level Thunderwave still damaged them sufficiently to give the heroes hope they could still win the day (and save Ruk). With three of the creatures pushed back ten feet, Xan enough space (and courage) go to the aid of Ruk… before his knee played up and he retreated to a safe distance.

The battle swayed back and forth for several minutes but eventually the adventurers dispatched the blue draconic creatures but not before Sandry noticed a human hand slide out of the chest of one she dispatched. Errie. Several times the heroes forcibly switched places with the creatures and for a moment shared the trapped, horrified screams of someone inside each creature’s mind!

One of the flying kobolds correctly read the outcome of the fight and took off towards another tunnel, from which the sounds of beating drums could be heard. Felkin missed with his arrow but Flitch hit with a devastating bolt of ice, severing the head and a wing of the kobold just before it disappeared up the tunnel.

The adventurers investigated the area the blue creatures came from and were able to learn that they very young Guard Drakes. Reading several parchments located with a bloodied bench and restraints, they deciphered the Guard Drakes are created by feeding the strongest dragon egg worm to a prisoner via the eye. They also learnt the dragon-dog looking kobolds they had just encountered are created by feeding dragons egg worms (harvested from eggs that are immature) to hosts. Survivors are inducted into the cult. Those who don’t survive give ‘birth’ to a clutch of fully mature kobolds. The exploding chest usually kills the host… The adventurers took a short rest in an inter-dimensional plane provided by Flitch and then continue up the set of stairs at the rear of the cave. As they made their way up the stairs they could hear the drumming getting louder and what sounded like a party ahead of them.

On the way up Sandry noticed a trap and disabled it without incident. As the group reached the top of the stairs everyone soon realized that noise was in fact a party. But instead of chicken wings and beer being served it was raw villager parts and what appeared to be a kobold version of moonshine from a distillery in the back. Almost twenty kobolds were gathered, some winged, others normal, drinking, beating drums, fornicating and generally acting like some sort of monster-fray party.

Realising they didn’t want to risk confronting so many kobolds while their resources were low, and trusting their disguises, Xan confidently strode into the room followed by Felkin, (who to the rest of the group actually appeared to be excited by the prospect of a party, regardless of hosts).

Felkin spun a melody with his panpipes to accompany the drumming, as he started to break out in song as he made his way thru the room. The drunken kobolds joined in with his tune and followed him through the room like he was the pied piper of kobolds. As Felkin finished his diddy the kobolds roared in appreciation and several kobolds thrust mugs toward Felkin and a chant of “DRINK, DRINK, DRINK…” started to echo throughout the chamber.

Initially, Felkin seemed to accept his fate with a thirsty smile, but then, looking at the mugs held up, he realized that instead of the vodka, rum, whisky, egg whites and stout beer that he was accustomed to, the kobold version had actual dead penises floating in it. It seems this moonshine literally put the cock in cocktail!

But it was too late, the kobolds chants had reached a frenzy and Felkin looked to grab a mug without any phallus. The mug he accepted from a particularly hideous looking kobold did not appear at first glance to contain anything too repulsive, so he raised the mug to his lips. It was then he saw the venereal disease ridden phallus floating in his mug!!!

Felkin tried to stall, proposing a toast as he sloshed his drink around in the hope that the repulsive contents of his mug would end up on the floor unnoticed. The kobolds didn’t buy it, and the chants of “DRINK, DRINK, DRINK…” became slower and more forceful. Realizing that he had little choice but to down the drink, Felkin raised the mug to his lips and started gulping down the disgusting concoction. All he could think about as he downed the drink was the disgusting things the former owner of the floating ding-dong might have done with it. To make things worse the pickled penis kept bumping against his lips as he drunk the vile brew, making sculling the brew next to impossible and thus prolonging Felkin’s distress.

Upon finishing the brew, Felkin dropped the mug and the kobolds erupted in chants of approval. The rest of the group managed to either avoid drinking the disgusting mixture all together, or were able to deceive the kobolds into believing they had downed the brew. The group then continued on, entering a tunnelled staircase leading upwards.

At the top of the stair case the tunnel widened into a large cavernous room. At various positions throughout the room there was a half-orc, two humans and a half-elf. Cyanwrath the half dragon was also in the room and upon seeing the adventurers enter the room let out a patronizing laugh and said in a mocking tone “Ah, you survived dwarf. Should we do battle again?”. He then proceeded to make fun of Ruk’s feeble attempts back at Greenest.

With that Ruk rushed forward, maul held ready and eager. At the same time the rest of the group advanced on the followers. After the initial engagement the group realized that the followers were under some kind of spell and would not attack unless attacked. They also noticed an orb, which seems to inflict extra damage if someone was injured during an attack. Upon learning this, the adventurers limited their attacks to the two followers that were already provoked, and then used ‘suggestion’ to reduce combat to just Cyanwrath (1-on-1 with Ruk) and the half-elf beserker who by now was frothing at the mouth.

Unlike their first encounter, Ruk struck true and appeared to have a lucky edge over Cyanwrath. The half-dragon and Ruk exchanged blows and Ruk was near death, but Ruk also extracted a severe toll on Cyanwrath. Unwilling to break his honour by calling the charmed berserkers to attack Ruk, but also unwilling to die needlessly himself, the half-dragon called on the black floating orb and healed himself! Before quaffing a potion of healing and flying into an as-yet unexplored tunnel. While Cyanwrath was making his retreat Sandry knocked the half-elf she was battling unconscious, but not before he did the same to Felkin.

With Cyanwrath gone the followers no longer seemed dangerous, just stupefied from the charm effect. The group then spread out with Grimm and Sandry finding a chest. Grimm initially tried to open the chest with force of arms but with no success, then Sandry attempted to unlock it, but as she did she triggered a trap and the room started to fill with noxious gas. The group hurried out of the room taking the chest with them. They also guided all but one of the possessed followers from the room. One was left behind and died, lungs burning from the acidic rain and vapour.

The group then opened the chest and found a string of pearls, a brooch, and a wooden staff that at first glance appeared to be made of stone, plus a number of large gems. Looking around at their battered, tired bodies the decided to head out out of the caves and to the mycanoid they had encountered earlier. This time Felkin successfully lured the earthen creature away from blocking the flow of water into the cavern, using one of the newly found gems. In appreciation the mycanoid gave Ruk a Frog of Holding which was opened with a magical fly.

They then exited the caves and rested in a tent over night, with their new couch. It was then they realized that the annoying Halfling, Tom Haverford, had disappeared before the Kobold Frat Party incident. No one seemed to upset by that though.



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